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WRETCH! VIDEO GAMES!! (Playthroughs of interesting games) James Pond II - Robocod Momoko 120% Zombie Raid Judge Dredd Märchen Maze Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon Batman The Outfoxies Insector X Charlie Ninja Hard Head 2
THE GATHERING
LET'S GAMING
GUIDES 'N STUFF
THIS AIN'T |
Now, other websites pertaining to video games will have, I dunno, a certain kind of structure to them. This is not how we roll here. This site serves as an excuse for me, a retro game enthusiast/self-loathing hack of a writer, to write way too much about video games you've probably never heard of, and make the poor editor (also known as Ed) cry like a little girl into his safety blanket. We toil night and day to entertain you, the reader, and the fruit of our labour is this little trash-heap, where you'll laugh, you'll cry, but you'll mostly scratch your head in confusion. One thing this site isn't is one of those irritating 'LOOOOL I NERD-RAGE FOR THE LULZ! CONTRA IZ HRD!!! ACTION 52 IS TEH SUXXXOR!!!1' review places. No, no, the purpose of this website is to entertain and educate. Apparently. Each game chosen is either interesting, obscure, or a Sailor Moon game in a sick running joke that'll never get old, and I don't 'play' these games so much as utterly destroy them, going into as much detail as possible without making my head explode. At the end of each playthrough, I always try to reason why each game is good or bad, and I even include some bonus stuff if I've got any to hand. You won't leave this website without learning something, you can bet on that! Just like you should always bet on Duke Nukem Forever being released this year. Warning! I ocassionally use naughty words like 'poo' and 'arseberries', ohohoho! I also use lots of screenshots, so watch out for that, assuming you can make your way around the gigantic walls of text that accompany each page. If the images don't load, just refresh the page and pray that they do. I will be updating this site when I damn well feel like it... Usually once a month. Please look forward to it! My email address, should you wish to give comments, suggestions, death-threats, etc. is TheMetalSlug at gmail dot com. 24th September, 2009 - Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the most incompetent web master of them all? That'd be me. Obviously. To say that uploading the Touhou Project page, along with its first article, was a painful experience is an understatement. A very big understatement. I think God himself tried to stop me from uploading that fucking thing, and as a result, everything that could've gone wrong did go wrong in a series of blunders that wouldn't have been out of place in a Three Stooges skit. So, I'm not going to lie to you- I rushed it. I just had to get it on the 'net as fast as possible as a form of digital exorcism, so it had loads of very silly problems... Which I've fixed today. Re-read it, for if nothing else, this article is a physical embodiment of my dogged persistence and utter refusal to ever give up on anything. On the plus side, I also cranked out two little Let's Gaming Love articles just for the hell of it- a tiny article on Famitsu's 900th Anniversary Issue (including a list of the 100 greatest games as voted by the readers in 2006) and a slightly bigger article on Arcade Legends: Space Invaders, one of those bloody plug-in-and-play things. As a bonus, both of these articles contain photos taken by me (mostly because I only exhumed my totally rubbish camera recently, as it was craftily hidden under a pile of Lynx cartridges) and, as such, they're amusing to point and laugh at. 19th September, 2009 - Take note of this update everyone- it nearly killed me! We have yet another new section, entitled The Gathering of Games. This is, in fact, an extremely handy time-saving device, which allows me to have a hub page for sets of related games- maybe a series, maybe games by one developer- so that I don't have to reintroduce the common elements between said games every time I make a new article. First up, the excellent-but-weird Touhou series- a bunch of mercilessly difficult shoot-em-ups that will break your fingers, your spirit, and quite possibly your dignity. Sadly, they're more well-known for their rabid fanbase- for they are legion- than the games themselves. Time for me to change that, eh, readers? I'll add new articles to these hub pages periodically, but at the moment, there's only one in this section- Perfect Cherry Blossom. Read the hub page and then the review, OK? Incidentally, when I said this update nearly killed me, I wasn't kidding. This article took me months, mostly due to my own incompetence, and it shows. It's the third article for this website that's come pretty close to finishing me off (the others being Insector X and, of course, Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon) and to say I'm relieved it's over and finally on the site is an understatement. Still, my rule is that if I'm not actively suffering when I'm writing for this site, I'm doing it wrong! You'll be suffering as well- there are LOTS of pictures in this article. If you've got a 56k modem or limited bandwidth, then for the love of Christ stay the fuck away from this one! Oh, and I fixed a few things here and there. Added a little something to the end of the Hard Head 2 page (you'll have to suffer through the whole article to see what it is), made some changes on the About page (to add more lies), and finally, fixed the Odds and Ends page, specifically the Riiiiidge Raceeeeeeer sound pack- I left out the RR2 sounds... Although while I'm here, I might as well mention that the Ridge Racer 2/Revolution announcer is actually a bit of a douche. 'Har har, you're too slow!' and other insults are constantly sent your way for some reason. What a dick. * A quick-n-dirty guide to The Return of Ishtar, just enough to give you a fighting chance. * A full script to the so-bad-it's-good fighting game Bloody Roar 2, with hot animal-on-animal action! * More games reviewed, like Mountain of Faith, Bubble Bobble 2, Firo & Klawd and Global Defence Force. |